9-17-2002

Buzz Aldrin was in the news last week. Seems he had a disagreement with an obnoxious fellow who questioned whether he had really been to the moon. Buzz, being exactly the type of macho fellow you’d expect a kick-ass astronaut to be, well, he kicked ass. Way to go, Buzz!

You may not know this, but his parents didn’t actually name him Buzz. They called him “Edwin”. But the name “Edwin” doesn’t convey quite the right image for the guy who was on the very first vehicle to land on a non-terrestrial body. “Buzz” is a better name for a historical figure like that.

I doubt that it’s a coincidence that Pixar named their space hero Buzz Lightyear.

I’ve always thought it would be cool to have a macho, monosyllabic nickname. You know, like “Buzz” or “Butch” or “Duke”. Let’s face it; “Terry” does not exactly conjure up images of epic accomplishments and manly deeds. I don’t think there’s ever been a “Terry” whose mere presence made women swoon from desire and men cringe in fear.

That’s probably why a certain famous wrestler calls himself “Hulk Hogan”, instead of sticking with his birth name of Terry. (It works for him, doesn’t it? I think I’m way too small and weak to get away with calling myself “Hulk”, though.)

Being named Terry also brings up that whole thing about being mistaken for Teri Garr, but I’m not going to discuss that here.

I guess being able to choose your own nickname is better than having your parents give you a name that sounds like a nickname. The Artist Formerly Known as Prince (TAFKAP) and then Subsequently Known as Prince Again (SKPA) was actually named “Prince” when he was born. I suspect that the moniker was more than a little bit responsible for his purple fetish, creepy performance persona, and questionable hairstyling choices. If he’d have been named “Bob”, he’d have probably become a successful Insurance Salesman or something, and no one would worry about their daughters hanging out with him.

Some people are given their nicknames by friends or co-workers. Others sit around and think for a long time about what they want to be called. But even giving it serious thought does not preclude making a choice that comes back to haunt you.

I’m not sure what his motivation was, but young Steven Demetre Georgiou probably thought that since the word “cat” was a hip slang term for “musician”, calling himself “Cat Stevens” would probably assure him fame and fortune in the music business. Well, it seemed to work pretty well, because he sold an awful lot of records in the 1970s.

But Cat ran into a problem he couldn’t have anticipated. A popular TV show featured a hilarious character known as “Darrin Stevens”. Suddenly, this serious musician was always being asked if he was Darrin’s brother, or whether he’d ever dreamed of giving up music to go work for McMahon and Tate. And if that weren’t bad enough, he started getting all these unannounced visits from Paul Lynde.

That’s enough to drive anyone crazy. “Cat” decided to give up music and change his religion to one that frowned upon advertising agencies and didn’t allow any shenanigans from witches and their kooky relatives. He shaved his head, called himself “Yusef Islam”, and vowed never again to play with his Mona Bone Jakon.

Hmmm. Makes you think, doesn’t it?

See if you know which birth name belongs to each celebrity:

  1. Riley  A. “Shemp” Howard 
  2. Julius  B. “Curley” Howard 
  3. Samuel  C. “Moe” Howard 
  4. Jerome  D. “Groucho” Marx 
  5. Octavio Victor  E. “BB” (Blues Boy) King 
  6. Moses  F. “Cookie” Rojas 
  7. Calvin  G. “Beaver” Cleaver 
  8. Theodore  H. “Snoop Dogg”



OK, so Beaver Cleaver is fictional, Snoop Dogg is annoying, and Cookie Rojas isn’t exactly a household name these days, but the point is that a good nickname provides some added punch in your life that a name like “Terry” just won’t do for you.

From now on, call me “Biff”, OK?



Answers: 1E, 2D, 3A, 4B, 5F, 6C, 7H, 8G